Duke Skywalker

Click Here to see Tory Lane at Facial Abuse

Fuck… am I pissed.  It’s a bit of a long story, but bear with me… it’s entertaining.

It started when Red came into my office all happy and shit.  He yells, “Dude… I just booked Tory Lane.”  I fucking jumped out of my chair and slapped him a high five (and I hate that shit).  After about 10 minutes of playing grab ass with each other, I told him, “Round up the crew… lunch is on me.”

Everyone hops in my SUV and we head to Burger King.  I drop them off and give Red a $20 and tell him to treat everyone to whatever they want.  He asks if I’m coming in.  I fucking look at him like he’s nuts… like I’d ever be caught dead eating Burger King.  I told him I’m heading to the classy Italian joint down the street and I’ll be back in an hour to pick them up.

Fast Forward to the day of the shoot.

I head to Super Cuts to get a fresh style for my lid.  I then head to the mall and pick up a nice new pair of slacks and the hot new Air Jordans.  I’m looking good.

So there I was, patiently waiting for Tory to arrive.  I’ve been a fan of her for years and have to admit that I’m a little starstruck.

Red comes barging in my office yelling, “Dude… she’s here!!!”

I tell him to escort her into the studio and then to my office.

As he heads down to greet her, I situate myself for the big moment.  I was going to pretend to be reading a book when she walks in, but that wouldn’t impress her.  She’s a whore and probably never read a book in her life.  Then, I thought about just counting a big stack of money in front of her, but figured that would make things worse.  She’d probably end up trying to weasel more money from me for the shoot.  I furiously racked my brain on what would make a good first impression and the answer was so fucking simple… PUSH-UPS!!!  So, I got down and started pumping them out.

The moment of truth arrived.  The door opens… and in walks Tory Lane.

I look up, then look at Red and then go, “Who the fuck is this?”

“Tory Lane”, Red says.

“Bullshit.  Is this some kind of fucking joke?”, I scream.

I walk out of the room and into the other room where we keep stacks of old porn movies.  I pick up a favorite movie of mine and then it hit me.  I thought we were shooting CHASEY LAIN.  I fucking love that girl.  I have no idea who this Tory broad is… but she’s no Chasey.

I call Red and “not Chasey” into the room and I explain that there has been a huge mix up.  I explain that she’s just not the woman I thought she was and it’s probably best that she leave immediately.  Red butts in and tells me that she flew all the way from Los Angeles to work for us.  I ask Red, “Planes fly BACK to Los Angeles, right?”.  He begs that we film a scene with her because she’s really popular with porn fans.  I look her dead in the eye and say, “I never heard of you!”

Fuck… even thinking back on this fiasco gets me all pissed.  Long story short… I shot the scene.  Paid her one third of what I promised her.  Deducted the cost of my haircut, new slacks and sneakers from Red’s paycheck and also made him give me back the $20 I shelled out for lunch.  Fuck it.

- Duke Skywalker

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Click Here to see Cassie Hills at Facial Abuse

Oh man… did I just have a good laugh.  I was sitting at my desk, looking out the window waiting for this whore to arrive when I see this old, beat up Sanford and Son looking pick-up truck roll into the parking lot.  Sure enough, riding in the back was Cassie Hills.  I yelled for Red to come see.  I nearly pissed myself.  It’s literally like 30 degrees outside and this dude has her sitting in the flat bed portion of his truck.  I love it!  As the driver was pulling away, we caught eyes.  I gave him a thumbs up to let him know that I like his style.  He gave me a thumbs up back.

Once inside, I told Cassie to take a few minutes to warm up and that I was going to make some hot chocolate…

About 3 minutes later, I returned with a nice cup of hot chocolate, which I proceeded to drink in front of her.  She had a bewildered stare and just let out a little sigh or grunt-like sound.  I then yelled to Red and Bootleg and told them that there’s a fresh batch of hot chocolate in the kitchen and if they want, they’re more than welcome to some.  They thanked me and headed off.

I looked at Cassie and said, “If there’s any left over, you can have some.”

There was not…

I asked her to disrobe so I could see what I was going to have to work around during the shoot.  She undressed.  I wish she hadn’t.

Like most trailer trash whores, they cover their body with ridiculous tattoos on prime real estate.  There’s always tattoos on the tits, ass and near the cunt.  Of course, Cassie had all of the above.  To prove just how stereotypical she is, I will tell you that she had a rose tattoo on her tit.  Tell me that isn’t trailer trash 101?

I told the guys to get ready so we can just hammer through this.  I didn’t want Cassie Hills here any longer than she had to.

- Duke Skywalker

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Click Here to see Precious at Ghetto Gaggers

I fucking knew I was in trouble the minute Red came running into the studio’s kitchen and started hiding all the cookies and soda.  I asked him, “What the fuck?” and he just looked at me with sad eyes and said, “I’m sorry, dude.”  I should have just packed up my shit and walked out, but I’m a fucking professional.

Anyway… meet Precious.  First off, how dare she name herself “Precious”.  When was the last time a 400 pound anything was considered “precious”.  I always thought the word was synonymous with delicate and of high value… not gross and obese.

After yelling at Red for about 15 minutes, I told him to bring that land mass into my office so I can conduct the pre-scene interview.  This is where I sit them down and let them know just how much I hate their guts and list all the things I am going to have done to them.  Because they’re stupid idiots, I show them pictures and samples of video of said acts.  Again… it’s because I’m a fucking professional.

So, Chubs comes waddling in and sits down.  I cringe as the metal legs of the chair struggle to hold her gigantic ass in place.  I mention to her, “You break it… you bought it.”  She shoots back and smile and said, “You’re silly” to which I reply in a serious and affirmative voice, “I’m serious.”

My first question to Mothra, “When did you give up living?”

Her reply, “What do you mean?”

“When did you just say fuck it and decide that you want to be fat?”, I rebutted.

“I was born big.” she replied.

“Why do you think God hates you?”, I ask

At this point, I can tell I’m rattling her a little.  She kind of gets snooty and says, “I’m a big beautiful woman… BBW… look it up.”

I tell her, “There is no such thing as a BBW, but there is a FUP… fat ugly pig… and you are definitely one of those.”

The next 10 minutes, I honestly can’t tell you what happened.  I do remember laughing hysterically and her crying.  I also remember walking out of the office to tell Red and the others what I just said.  Then, I took a piss… and I think I may have emailed a buddy of mine to tell him about large Marge… but aside from that, I honestly don’t remember.

The next thing I remember is Red telling me he refuses to fuck her.  He said that he’d rather chew glass.  Luckily for us, Bootleg was hanging around like he always does… so I approached him.  I shit you not… I have never seen that lazy ass move so quickly.  That fucker actually tried to climb out of the 2nd story window to escape, but I cornered him before he could get away.  He begged me not to make him do it.  I told him that we needed him and if he did it, I’d let him fuck a good looking white girl next time.  He said that all his friends would make fun of him if they saw him fucking such a grotesque lard ass… and that’s when it hit me.

I’ve had this silly clown mask in the closet for some time now, so I told him to wear that.  This way, no one would see his face and he could deny it was him.

So he did…

The shoot, itself, went awesome because I know how to handle my business.  Tubs got worked over.  There was plenty of puke, humiliation, rough sex and hatred to make this one of the best Ghetto Gaggers scenes ever shot.  The highlight was when we made her wear some African war paint on her face.  She looked like one of those Zulu warriors, but fatter and uglier.

After the shoot was over, I paid her… but deducted $250.  I told her that I was using that $250 to buy her a 1 year membership to a local gym.  I told her that if she was able to lose at least 100 pounds within the year, I would pay her an additional $500.

I, obviously, don’t expect to ever see her again… and even if she did lose the weight, I wouldn’t pay her that money anyway.  Her not being so fucking fat is reward enough.

- Duke Skywalker

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